10 Ways You’re Wrong About Feminism

Monday, 09 March 2015 - 12:44:04 WIB
By : Devi Asmarani | Category: Issues - 240175 hits
From the eloquent Virginia Woolf; the martyred suffragette Emily Davison; the intellectuals of the likes of de Beauvoir,  Greer and Wolf; the impeccable Emma Watson; to the online activists of Everyday Sexism – feminism is the faces of many women and men, manifested in different thoughts and expressions, all with the common goal of bringing equality for women in all areas of their lives.

Unfortunately, many people get it wrong and the fallacies continue to be propagated to this day.

Here are the ten biggest misconceptions about feminism:
  1. Feminists hate men
This one is the oldest and most tiresome fallacy on feminism. Feminism is a movement and ideology that champions equality for women in political, economic, cultural, personal and social spheres. It has never been an ideology of hate.
  1. To achieve equality, feminism must emasculate men
Achieving gender equality does require deconstructing masculinity, but it is not the same as emasculating the male sex. In its hundreds of years of history (even before the word “feminism” was coined) the movement has cultivated a tradition of deep contemplation and rethinking of the social construct of genders as well as gender dynamics. It is supposed to actually improve gender relations, not strengthen one sex at the expense of the other.
  1. Feminism only helps women ­
Feminism doesn't just liberate women; it also liberates men by breaking down the standards put in place for women and men by the society. Feminism is about changing self-limiting gender roles, sexual norms and sexist practices. Men have the freedom to explore life beyond the rigid boundaries of traditional masculinity. Also feminism believes in equal access to education, which probably enabled your mom to get her university degree and get a job way back then, giving you and your brothers better opportunities in life. With education, women tend to make better life choices, resulting in healthier and more optimally functioning families and communities.
  1. Only women can be feminists
Feminists are committed to addressing daily problems like domestic violence, rape and sexual assaults, unequal pay, sexual objectification, etc. The best way to address these problems is to involve men, raising male employees’ awareness on gender sensitivity, teaching young boys to respect girls, getting fathers to share the housework loads and be more involved in raising their kids, and so many other ways.
  1. To be a feminist you must be an atheist
While it’s true that some religions have highly patriarchal perspectives and perpetuate age-old discriminative practices against women, it doesn’t mean there’s no room for improvements. There have been many who bring women-friendly interpretations into religious teachings. In Indonesia we have this feminist ulema and this Muslim scholar and a few others. You don’t have to ditch your religion to believe that women are entitled to the same rights as men.

    6.  Feminists don’t believe in marriage

How silly. A lot of feminists are happily married (yours truly included). As long as a marriage provides personal, legal and social values to the two people involved, there’s no reason to reject the institution of marriage. What feminists are against is when the society values marriage as a “better place” for women, socially punishing those who are not married or divorced, and when a marriage is treated as a way to control women. Also, true feminists believe legal marriage should be allowed for all sexual preferences and gender expressions (yes, we believe in same-sex marriage!).
  1. True feminists don’t wear bras and make up
Rubbish! Feminism is about giving women choices – not limiting them – of self-expression. Can’t go out without your high heels? By all means wear them. Fancy that little black dress? Why not. But expressing yourself in a traditional expression of femininity is a choice, not an obligation, and it should not define you as a person.  Personally, I like looking good, but I hate to waste too much time and energy on doing it, so I hardly wear make-up, save maybe brow powder and lip-gloss.
  1. Feminism is a western concept
To be honest, this has been one of the main self-criticism within the feminist movement in the past: that feminism, the movement and ideology, is Eurocentric and dictated by white middle class women. It was also criticized for its tendency to overlook class, caste, religion, ethnic bias and racial discrimination that complicate the idea about gender.  However feminism has long existed in non-western part of the world, from South America, Asia to Africa, though with slightly adjusted focuses according to the local contexts.
  1. Feminism hasn’t changed for ages
Wrong! The first wave of feminism in the 19th hundred and early 20th centuries focused on civil and political equality, mainly women’s rights to vote. The second wave, which began in the 1960s all through the 1980s, widened the goals to include issues of sexuality, family, the workplace, reproductive rights and other legal inequalities. The third-wave feminists broadened the debates to focus on ideas like queer theory, abolishing gender role expectation and stereotypes. The current awareness in feminism – what is arguably sometimes called the fourth-wave feminism – embraces the idea of “intersectionality”, the multiple, interlocking oppressions of race, sex, sexuality and class. It is a movement and awareness that advocate people to make space for those who are marginalized politically, economically and socially because of their gender, sexual preferences, race and class.
  1. There’s no need for feminism now because women are equal to men already
This cannot be more wrong.  Let’s revisit the women’s lib’s demands in the 1970s: The first four of them are equal pay, equal opportunity to education and work, guarantee of their reproductive rights, and an end to violence or sexual coercion regardless of marital status. Now let’s look at the facts today: According to a report by the UN’s International Labour Organization, women across the world earn only 77 percent of the amount paid to men, a figure that has improved only three percentage points in the past 20 years.  On top of that, many jobs are still not friendly to mothers, and top leadership posts in companies and governments are still overwhelmingly held by men. Secondly, in many developing countries including Indonesia the number of girls dropping out of school is higher than boys because they are seen by parents as not worth the economic investment. Third, though contraceptives are widely available now, many countries (Indonesia including) still allow child marriage, which perpetuates domestic violence and poverty. Fourth, rape culture is actually thriving both in developed and developing countries alike. In countries like Indonesia the law and law enforcers on sex violence cases are hardly on women’s side.

Adding to these, the grisly tradition of female genital mutilation is still being practiced in Africa and even in Indonesia. And, don’t forget, though women will be voting for the first time in Saudi Arabia this year, they are still not allowed to drive or leave home without a male relative chaperone.

So you think our work is done? Think again.

*Read Devi’s interview on one of Indonesia’s first feminists Kartini and follow @dasmaran on Twitter.

Got an opinion on this issue? Let’s talk about it in the comments section below.

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Devi Asmarani, Chief Editor
Devi is a functional introvert who enjoys mild socializing and dancing to hip hop music every once in a while. She cries when wowed by a movie, a song, a book, an article, a poem, a speech, a TV commercial – basically any work of human's mind that has been exquisitely created.
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Tressabel Hutasoit | 10 March 2015 | 15:34:38 WIB
I love this piece. Will share this on social media. You are amazing! xx
LOL | 13 March 2015 | 22:52:04 WIB
On top of that, many jobs are still not friendly to mothers---> this is BS. do you really want dangerous jobs to be applied to moms? oh dear...

and top leadership posts in companies and governments are still overwhelmingly held by men--> BS too. gender over merit? cringe
Joe G. | 07 July 2015 | 09:33:03 WIB
What nonsense. Feminism is about emasculation, as points 2 and 3 show in their contradictions. "Deconstructing" masculinity is about forcing men to be defined by standards deemed acceptable by feminists, exactly the same kind thing feminists claim to hate.
Beta Insinyur | 21 April 2016 | 14:50:17 WIB

I love that you address about dangerous jobs to be applied to moms/women in general. Now, um, what would you consider as dangerous jobs? Operating CAT 777 Trucks? Working in oil platforms? Oh, say, working on a mineral or a coal mine pits?

Right, um. Here's the thing. There are some very "western" concepts called Health Safety Environment. It pretty much mitigates any danger, potential incidents, potential accidents etc for anyone within the work area. It's good stuff, I mean so far the dangers mitigated were not limited to oh say, anyone with or without womb. If it's still dangerous, you're not doing it right.

Also, when I was working in mine pits, I know that women were (preferably) hired to operate CAT 777 since it somehow decrease the maintenance down time. Apparently those women were smooth operator.
tyas | 08 January 2017 | 18:15:56 WIB
Things are actually getting better in the workplace, but some jobs are just not designed for women or even mothers.
I'm not saying that they can't do that, but when asking for equality, it's also mean to bear same responsibility. No matter how safe the rig is, a mother should not take her baby there or ask privilege to leave the site as she pleased for her baby (especially if it remote site). Even in office job, hiding behind gender or mother excuse to evading work overtime is just wrong. This just make feminism look bad.
tyas | 08 January 2017 | 18:17:10 WIB
Cont' on above comment,

As for less women on management level, it take time to build career in a company. Most start when they're single but then some get married in the middle and have to choose between work or family. Not everybody can balance it. So by the time she should be promoted, she leave her job instead.
Some who stay may catch "queen bee syndrome", seeing her collage as a threat, turn harsh to them or even try to get rid of them. Offcourse there are women in upper position who can stay professional too.
Above cases don't usually happen to men.

Being woman is tough, but it doesn't justify us to keep complaint and blame the situation. World is not that bleak.
Vieta | 13 January 2017 | 11:58:02 WIB
As a female, pretty sure I am unwilling to work as miners labourers, construction labourers, porters :-/
ateng | 06 March 2017 | 01:15:37 WIB
One thing for sure, feminism is a selfish narrative.

Like Joe G. said, it's viewed as forcing standards of masculinity to men, while it's never going to accept the other way around.

And when have we ever hear feminism taking criticisms from men willingly to change its ideals?
bortalizer | 06 March 2017 | 14:09:10 WIB
ummm.... 'scuse me, but you're well aware that the 'muh wage gap' myth is already debunked for quite some times now, aren't you?
bortalizer | 06 March 2017 | 14:20:55 WIB
and for girls dropping out of school and getting married at young age... is it really a gender issue or is it actually an economic issue?

i dunno ma'am, you seems to be thoroughly convinced that the parents of these young girls are evil machinery of patriarchy.

but, you know... have you ever thought that maybe.... just maybe, they're simply dirt poor?

you know, just trying to keep a healthy, open mind~
anom | 24 September 2017 | 19:00:35 WIB
apa bedanya dgn egalatirarian kalo gitu? mengingat feminis bukan soal cewe, cewe dan cewe =="
adi | 30 September 2017 | 18:45:04 WIB
I think that feminism should change its name.Back in the day, women weren't allowed to vote, work, go to school, or even speak their mind. But that has all changed. The only thing keeping the name 'feminism' around is the 'wage gap' that has proven to be, in fact, an earnings gap, which has nothing to do with discrimination. Feminism claims to be about equality, but why is it still called FEMINism then? What if a male tried to break the stereotype and do something a female would typically do?
Irma Garnesia | 14 October 2017 | 17:41:45 WIB
I like to read Magdalene and encounter a new side of perspectives every day. Is there any way I could receive a daily newsletter from you?
Magdalene | 16 October 2017 | 10:00:35 WIB
@Irma Garnesia Thanks, Irma. We have weekly newsletter, and your email address has been included in the list. You should start to receive it this week. For daily alert, you can follow us on Twitter @the_magdalene and Facebook @MagdaleneIndonesia. Cheers.
Bunny of Hell | 12 November 2017 | 10:11:11 WIB
Laughed at number one. Yes, many thought that feminist hate men so much that we'll always beat em on streets.
Something | 03 Desember 2017 | 23:53:57 WIB
Oh my god look at most of these comments completely missing the points. It's pretty much people that doesn't want to understand though. And again and again everytime they try to question feminism views they always come back to it being named feminism and how it basically says unequal. Ugh get a better insult or if you really dont get it, no honey, we want equality not superiority for gods sake.
ruthie | 12 Desember 2017 | 14:04:26 WIB
Dearest previous opposing comments on this article, I know how you feel, I really do, I asked the same questions when I first took feminism as my thesis subject back in the uni days. My suggestion is, keep on digging and read more about feminism, because you certainly need better understanding of it. But you're in a feminist website, so that's a first step. Cheers!
oi | 27 Desember 2017 | 23:57:43 WIB
yeahhh awalnya baik tapi lama-lama ideologi feminis akan rusak oleh orang nya sendiri
https://www.dangerous.com/37029/feminist-satire -website-closes-cant-out-crazy-feminists/
ku cium kemunafikan | 16 January 2018 | 17:40:33 WIB
alah lu paling bantuin cowo yg feminim dan lgbt, kalo lelaki tulen lu paling masa bodo
kucium kemunafikan | 16 January 2018 | 17:43:41 WIB
@Something karna faktanya manusia itu gak akan pernah puas, kawanku
bahkan jika kau
kalian yg awal nya ingin setara, akan ingin jadi dominan juga
ken | 08 February 2018 | 11:26:47 WIB
The point is feminism isn't only for cis-gender women.
anonim | 31 March 2018 | 19:11:49 WIB
kenapa feminis dibenci atau dianggap matriaki berkedok kesetaraan palsu?
karna banyak feminist yang keracun malah jadi pembenci lelaki, sedangkan yang laki2 keracun jadi MGTOW (yang sebenernya hasil reaksi dari feminist movement yang terlalu radikal). Hasilnya, stereotip ga sehat antara laki2 dan perempuan.

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