Would You Still Love Me if You Knew I’m Not Religious Anymore, Mom?

Thursday, 31 March 2016 - 11:16:31 WIB
By : Laras Mukti | Category: Faith & Spirituality - 22845 hits - 1 share
I was raised in a Muslim family. They are not exactly what you would call hardliners, as they are still strongly influenced by the Javanese traditions, but since I was a little girl, my mom sent me to an Quran school. There I was taught to read and to remember verses for prayers, but I never actually understood their meaning.

In school I learned about earth and human in both science and religion classes. In religion class, I questioned my teacher about how the earth was created and how the narrative of Adam and Eve did not fit in science at all. He replied coldly that religion and science were two different things, and then he ignored me for a month.

Growing up in a multi-cultural environment made me think how it could be possible that we all descended from Adam and Eve, yet we were all so different. I was also taught that people who did not follow my religion would go to hell.

Later I went abroad for volunteering, during which I visited a Jewish temple and an orthodox Christian church, and learned about the Muslims in Europe. In India, I met the Sikhs, Zoroastrians, Baha’is, and Hindus, whose beliefs and rituals are somewhat different from the Balinese Hindus. I started to question everything. What makes my religion the most righteous over hundreds or even thousands of other beliefs?

For two years, I did not believe in anything, I was mad and confused, and I rebelled against my religion. I didn’t perform prayers, I didn’t fast during the Ramadan month, I did not even celebrate Eid, because I was in Europe on a volunteering program.

In India, I was taught by a yogi about the meaning of life from his perspective, and how God actually lives within ourselves, and this got me started on a spiritual path. I read many books about Islam that are really insightful and beautiful. I finished the Bible, I read about Buddhism, and I learned Sikhism at a gurdwara. I now believe that there is one power that creates everything, and I believe that love, kindness, and tolerance are the values I aspire to  live by every day.

I love my family, particularly my mom, whom I talk to about mostly everything. But when it comes to religion, she says, “Mama cuma pengen kamu buru-buru dapet hidayah.” She wishes I would receive some divine guidance soon. But I think I have already.

I neither believe in God, nor do I hate religion. I believe there is no bad religion – it’s just the people. But what I truly believe now is that only love and kindness can conquer all.

Unlike many Indonesian parents, my parents never impose a “deadline” for me to get married. However, they have one condition: the guy has to be a Muslim, which is a problem. I have been seeing a guy whom I love, despite the fact that he is an atheist. He does not even mind if he has to convert to Islam to smooth our way forward with the family, but I don’t want a life of lying.

I don’t want to lie to my mom. I don’t want her to expect to see me turning religious in loose clothing and long headscarf, going on a pilgrimage or a minor pilgrimage every year. If my mom found out about the real me right now, she would be really disappointed, which  is the last thing I want to happen.

My mom, with her love and tenderness, always reminds me of the importance of praying or reading the holy book. She tells me when I have a child in the future, he or she should be able to read the Quran and abide by the Islamic values since very young so I, as their mother, will be “saved” from hellfire. I tell her I don’t want to force my kids to do what they don’t want to do, and to send them away to a pesantren (Islamic boarding school). When this topic occurs, we always end up nowhere, and she would say: “Astaghfirullah, may Allah forgive you soon.”

Here’s what I want to tell her: Dear Mom, I love you. But I believe you are not going to hell for having me as your daughter. God knows you have the kindest heart. God knows much better that you deserve the best. I just don’t want to lie to you anymore. And I hope you can  love me unconditionally, despite our differences.

Laras Mukti is a 20 something woman who thinks that love and peace conquers all. She is a non-believer who believes in her Mom's love.

Got an opinion on this issue? Let’s talk about it in the comments section below.

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COMMENTS
Sari | 31 March 2016 | 12:47:59 WIB
Thank you for writing this. 💕
Wigke | 31 March 2016 | 15:24:26 WIB
I feel you💕.
Great article anyway.
Cenil | 31 March 2016 | 15:28:05 WIB
Sama seperti yang saya rasakan :)
Debbie | 31 March 2016 | 16:03:38 WIB
it's such a powerful messages in a writing!
Debbie | 31 March 2016 | 16:03:39 WIB
it's such a powerful messages in a writing!
Candy Unagi | 31 March 2016 | 20:33:38 WIB
You will get there girl! Ibuku dulu juga begitu, selalu dengan alasan 'nanti kalau di akhirat kita gak bisa ketemu'. Aku jawab bercanda, 'jangan kuatir Mi, nanti kalau kita terpisah aku pasti mengunjungi Mami di kompartemen Mami'. Hahahaha... Eventually through humor I was able to get through her. Hope you will too some day! Ps: read my article on Magdalene "My son the 5 year old atheist".
Ardi | 31 March 2016 | 20:44:17 WIB
Exactly!!!! Aku punya pengalaman yang sama :'(
Laras Mukti | 01 April 2016 | 09:49:09 WIB
Oh my, I am so happy to read all the comments :")

Sari, Wigke, Cenil, Debbie, thank you, thank you :") now I know that I am not alone

Candy Unagi, Thank you sooo much, I love your article ever since, that intrigues me to write this piece :) I hope I will get through it soon, time will heal, time will show it all.

Madge, thank you for existing. I love you.
mila | 01 April 2016 | 16:23:27 WIB
this post speaks to me on so many levels :')
Wahyu R | 01 April 2016 | 16:28:47 WIB
Hai! Dulu aku juga sempet kayak gitu, aku percaya akan adanya Tuhan yang wallahu a'lam. Sampai akhirnya aku mengalami cobaan demi cobaan, dan berada di titik terendah aku. Aku coba ini itu, segala macem buat nenangin diri aku. Somehow I ended up dengan solat dan baca Al qur'an, yang alhamdulillah bisa membuat aku tenang. Jadi sekarang aku percaya Tuhanku Allah. Ya walaupun agamapun aku masih belum sempurna, masih sering minum alkohol, solat wajib juga masih iya-iya enggak-enggak. Akupun tidak berpikir untuk menggunakan kerudung, terutama yang 'extreme'.
Aku pernah berdiskusi dengan beberapa orang teman. Beberapa ucapan mereka yang mengena di hatiku adalah "Ya Tuhan juga ga picik kali, Tuhan tau mana yang (orang) baik dan enggak." dan "Yang aku percaya akan adanya karma. Ketika kamu berbuat baik, pasti kamu akan mendapatkan kebaikan, begitupun sebaliknya."
Akupun mendoakan seperti ibu kamu, semoga segera membukakan hati akan datangnya hidayah."
Laras Mukti | 01 April 2016 | 21:15:28 WIB
Mila and Ardi, I know the feelings so much! :")

Wahyu,
Setelah banyak eksplorasi diri yang sudah saya lakukan, pergi mencari mana yang paling menenangkan, saya rasa saya sudah mendapatkan hidayah saya sendiri kok :) saya merasa lebih tenang setelah 'melepaskan diri' dari ribuan pertanyaan yang tak bisa terjawab sebelumnya bagi saya. Saya belajar menerima semuanya, dan menghargai apa yang ada dan saya juga percaya karma.

Tapi, terima kasih kalimat terakhirnya, dan saya sangat menghargai itu, sama seperti saya menghargai Ibu saya. Dan saya percaya niat baikmu pun akan terbalas juga dengan kebaikan. Peace :)

Tolerance, peace, and love,
genduk | 02 April 2016 | 01:25:58 WIB
hey, chin up! (=
Sophia A | 02 April 2016 | 21:16:30 WIB
I could have written this. I asked my mom, pretending to be joking, what she'd do if I converted to another religion. She turned serious and answered that she would disown me. Wow imagine what would happen if I were to confess that I'm an agnostic, not a Muslim. I feel like I'm living a life of lie. I totally relate to this article.
dany | 03 April 2016 | 14:23:14 WIB
Thank you for being my side. I think I'm alone carrying this condition. I'm crying, read your post. I feel it too, almost the same. You went to many places, read many book, know more. I dream it, it is my plan. Great article. Thank you.
Marion Cotillard (bukan nama sebenarnya) | 03 April 2016 | 15:09:06 WIB
Hai, Laras! Tulisanmu bagus sekali! Saya bisa relate dengan cerita hidupmu. :')

Saya pun sangat sayang dengan orang tua dan gak mau PHP ke mereka seumur hidup. Gak mau mereka berekspektasi saya nanti bakal pakai hijab atau ikut mereka umrah. Saya masih berusia di awal 20-an sih, tapi saya takuttt day-dreaming tentang cara membesarkan anak nanti. Takut ngebayangin bertengkar dengan orang tua soal menyunat kelamin anak, ngajarin agama ke anak, shalat, puasa, dsb. Makanya saya sangat menghindari mikir tentang punya keluarga sendiri, bisa memicu stres... Lha padahal pacar aja belum punya! :((( (maaf jadi curhat)

Again, thank you, and best wishes for you, Laras! <3
Laras Mukti | 04 April 2016 | 07:42:31 WIB
wow! didn't expect that actually many people will relate to this.

Genduk : Thank you <3

Sophia : I feel you <3, I hope we'll get through this someday in the future, all the best, peace! :)

Dany : Explore everything you think you should know and want to know, the answer is within yourself, meet people from other background with different perspectives helps me learn a lot about my life, life is beautiful, differences are something I embrace so much in this world. Good luck Dany! :)

Marion : Hai Marion! saya pun masih usia 20an, saya senang kalau kamu bisa relate dengan tulisan saya (Yang disempurnakan oleh magdalene, sehingga makin strong, thank you, Madge :)) saya juga tidak ingin memaksakan kehendak atau keinginan saya kepada anak saya nanti di masa depan, saya ingin melihat dia tumbuh sebagaimana mestinya, dan dengan cinta dan kasih sayang dari saya dan lingkungan sekitar, saya percaya, dengan niat baik, kebaikan akan datang mengiringi :) good luck, love, peace :)
Metta Witari | 04 April 2016 | 16:18:57 WIB
omg this is literally me. I live my life learning about most of the religion, Islam, Catholic, Christianity, Buddhism (It's actually not a religion tho). My mom is a buddhist and she kinda 'force' me to do the prayer, even tho I don't really understand how it goes. Well she didn't really force me, but you know the ambiguous situation when she tell you that your belief came from the heart but in the same time she's trying to make me pray. I love all religion. They teach you to do good and love the other. Neither they're better nor worse. It's just the rules which makes our path differently. Should you take only the positive side of each religion, making you a better person.

Peace and love!
Anggi | 05 April 2016 | 08:03:31 WIB
Omg i know how it feels like! It suck dealing about that with my mom and friends too. I somewhat dont fit with each person in my life yet I dont feel lonely anymore bcs of this!! Keep up the spirit. Life will be very tough and rough, we'll have to fathom thay peacefully!! Tons of love! :)
Tasya | 05 April 2016 | 16:25:32 WIB
My struggle everrrryyyydaaaaaaay. It's been years and I'm still looking for an answer. Thank-you so much for sharing. It strengthens me :')))
saras | 06 April 2016 | 16:32:05 WIB
Dear laras, what a such beautiful story. i've been on this issue till now. My family is kinda muslim strict, ( i am half arabian) all of my sisters are wearing hijab, only me the one who refuse to wear this. I can't deny myself, i am just not suitable with it.
saras | 06 April 2016 | 16:32:52 WIB
I knew that my family will drive me became one of religious girl, and my dad always forced me to do what he thought was right. i couldn't stand living with that otoriter rule at home, till i decided to leaved home and moved out. i was living in Europe (France) for 1 one year, there, i learned how to be unjedmental people, learned how to be openminded, and learn that life is not just about religion.
saras | 06 April 2016 | 16:33:15 WIB
I believe in the kindness, if i do good thing, there will be good thing comes.
it happens to me once, i am a dog lover, i pet my dog, till my dad came and said that i had to throw my dog away just because he didnt like dog (najis), and i ignored him, i try to speak the thruth, but what my dad responded was shockingly shocked me. he said that he would punch me and abuse me just because i didnt listen to him. i decide to leave home, and not talking with my dad for couple months. i can't stad anymore, the rest of my life, he never let me to speak up my opinion, he always wants me to do what he thinks is true.
I just believe in God, God will know wheter i am a religious person or not, as long as i do good things, not hurting people or make people get injured, God always be with me.

I appreciate much of what you write, it strengthens me laras. hope you will be fine anywhere you go.

:')))
Riska Mirzalina | 06 April 2016 | 23:35:45 WIB
I really really love my parents, but in my unfortunate story, I was outcasted and had to survive alone, in fears, with totally nothing in metropolitan city of Jakarta. Turned out, I survived. Even at better and happier condition now. I believe that being honest to myself is very important.
Alice | 09 April 2016 | 18:36:59 WIB
Hai Laras, sy juga punya life story yg sama. Saya sangat open mind mempelajari seluruh agama dan berakhir pd spirituality. rasanya era kebangkitan kesadaran sdh tiba. Generasi yg baru tidak lagi terbelenggu dogma sperti halnya generasi sebelumnya. Btw, sy muslim yg percaya reinkarnasi dan karma, dan sy pernah baca ttg tingkatan soul bdsrkan jumlah kelahiran-kematian yg sdh dilalui (infant soul,baby soul,young soul,mature soul,oldsoul). Ciri2 baby soul adl sangat patuh pada dogma dan kepercayaan tanpa mempertanyakan atau memikirkannya dg lebih dalam. Sprtinya indonesia kita ini dominan baby soul. Googling aja kl tertarik dg topik tsb. Banyak sekali tulisan ttg five stages of soul ini.
Laras Mukti | 16 April 2016 | 17:44:21 WIB
Metta : Dear Metta! Yes I agree with you that there's no bad religions, religions teach you to do good and be good to each other. Peace and Love! :)

Anggi : You are not alone! we are all not alone!

Tasya: Dear Tasya, keep exploring yourself! Peace and Love!

Saras : Dear Saras, I had tears down on my face reading your stories, Saras, believe in yourself, and never ever let anger lets you down. I know you love your family, I hope that someday they will love you unconditionally, keep the spirit, girl! I love you! Peace and Love! you are not alone :")

Rizka : Dear Rizka, glad to know you've survived, wish I would be in that state in the nearest future. I wish you well, peace upon you :)

Alice : Hi Alice! the five stages you mentioned were related to the reincarnation, yes? I've read about it, I adore the theory though, :) and yes, you are right, Indonesia ini dominan baby soul. wish they will move to the next stage then? Thank you for sharing Alice!



Naomi | 19 April 2016 | 17:16:23 WIB
Hi! I love reading your post! Such a big heart you have for your mom which conquer all kinds of religion. Be happy! :)
Devi | 20 April 2016 | 19:11:41 WIB
Hey there!

I'm so glad to know that there are people like you out there. My family has never been a strictly religious one (what people call "Buddha KTP" haha), although we are sort of heavy on Chinese tradition (one that people refers to Konghucu religion nowadays). I learned about Christian in my elementary years, and became a Buddhist since my high school days. However, as I grew older, I came to become skeptical with so many things that occurred in the world. Questions popped out on my mind. But even so, this is still inline with what I was taught in Buddhism, as we are encouraged to seek for knowledge (or at least in my own interpretation, which should be taken with a grain of salt). Encountering people like you enforces my believe that all religions and beliefs teach love and peace at its very basic foundation.

I'm sorry if this comment is hard to understand. I'm still learning to speak up my mind. ;D
Mhd Yazid | 29 April 2016 | 13:51:25 WIB
I like your statement; "I just don't want to lie to you anymore". But, i just want to suggest u something. Hope it considerable. I thought, the problem was "you talk 'bout religion but you had saperated religion yet" . I mean, religion as a religion, religion as a culture, and religion as a ideology. etc.
So, would you like to try it?

I like your article... :)
Rea | 06 May 2016 | 12:12:58 WIB
Your mom should actually be proud for having an intelligent and wise daughter like you.. We have to believe in something after going through a series of critical thinking and finding, not merely based on what we were born as a.k.a. blind faith. Im also a non-believer but i had been a religious person long time ago (without any force) then i began to question everything.
But im not as brave as you because you could speak up to your mom a little bit about your lack of faith and wrote this article for public. So i can only wish you for the best and keep being you!
Nisa | 06 May 2016 | 12:48:24 WIB
Laras i love you. I love your article. Maybe i love God for created you so that you could write this article.
Dari kecil sampe hampir lulus SMA, saya "dingajiin" dari yg sekedar baca quran sampe hatam bolak balik, tajwid, tauhid, fiqih dll. Tapi semenjak mulai kuliah saya mulai mempertanyakan semuanya (khususnya tentang agama) karena orang tua saya lumayan strict dan mereka sering nyuruh atau melarang seuatu tanpa memberi alasan. Saya selalu bertanya kenapa ini kenapa itu tapi ga pernah dpt jawaban yg pas, malah pernah mereka nyuruh saya bertanya langsung ke guru ngaji saya, tapi di akhir kalimat mereka bilang "ya sana, paling nanti kamu dimarahin duluan, agama kok dipertanyakan". Saya cuma mau dpt jawaban, tapi setiap kami "berdiskusi", ujungnya malah saya dicap sebagai anak durhaka sok tau yang kudu cepet2 sholat tobat. Pft
Nisa | 06 May 2016 | 12:58:18 WIB
They even forced me to wear hijab, dan akhirnya saya bohong (pake pas dirumah doang), perks of being anak rantau :')
I hate the fact that I'm lying to my parents, but i even more hate the fact that i hate something but i can't do anything about it. I don't have the guts to tell my parents so i just simply say yes and pretend to do whatever they said. Tentu saya masih bertuhan, tapi saya sudah tidak serelijius seperti yang orang tua saya inginkan. Your article sums up my mind. Thankyou 🍻
Laras Mukti | 12 May 2016 | 17:19:21 WIB
Everyone, thank you very much for all your comments here.
I can't describe how happy I am to know that there are many people who feel the same like me, I am so happy that Magdalene connects me with all of you.

for Nisa, I love you too, we just have to be strong and believe in ourselves :")
Love will conquer us all.
Hap | 07 June 2016 | 15:58:32 WIB
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for writing this. This is exactly how I feel these past years. Not only I'm afraid they won't love me anymore, what I actually afraid is, the disappointed look on their face and knowing I probably hurt them if I tell them that I'm a non believer.

I cried when I read this post. I read the comments, turns out many people - many woman - feels the same way.

How do you tell your parents you're a non believer -- when they really believe that means they're going to hell because of me?
Gia | 28 June 2016 | 18:21:01 WIB
I relate to this post in so many ways. Aku juga merasakan yg sama semenjak menerima katekisasi di gereja, apalagi makin gak religius semenjak mulai kuliah. I've been subtly telling my parents (especially my mom) that I am not as religious as she thinks I am. Thank you for this writing Laras, it feels good to know that I'm not the only one who experiences this. :)
Natasha | 30 June 2016 | 11:37:40 WIB
Hey Laras. Nice to meet you. I feel for your post. Even though my parents aren't the strict one, I believe they will disown me If I told them this. Hahahahahaha. I consider myself an agnostic, I believe in the concept of heaven and hell and Allah, but had trouble performing the ritual because of the point and purpose. I told my friends this thing and they take it as a joke, but some of my friends know that it wasn't a joke. I have a catholic friend like me, we often share our side of religion, he would talk about the bible and I would talk about the Quran.
I know your feeling, to live in a lie. I know. Will you cheered up if I say it will be easier after time? Because it will.
Keep doing good. There's a saying I found on the internet:
So tell me where should I go?
To the right, where nothing is left
Or, To the left, where nothing is right.
This saying always keeps me up at night.
Laras | 08 August 2016 | 16:31:56 WIB
WOW! Been a while I haven't opened this, :')

@hap, I have not told my parents about me as a non-believer, I know that they will really disappointed in me. Until now, I choose to be silent :') but I love them so much, very very much, and I believe love will find the way for us.

@Gia, thank you for being you too, Gia :') glad to know you're glad.

@Natasha. Your words.. means a lot to me, thank you, thank you very much! :')

Thank you everyone!

Peace and Love!
Zee | 23 August 2016 | 23:51:15 WIB
I cried when I read this article. I know exactly how it feels. Sejak SMP udh jarang shalat, bahkan pernah bbrp tahun tdk shalat. Masih berlanjut sampai skrg & umur saya skrg 22 tahun. Saya berhenti karena mikir selama ini saya ibadah karena disuruh & tdk ingin mereka kecewa. Saya ngelakuin bukan karena kemauan sendiri. Tp ada satu hal yg sangat saya takuti. In my case, it's not only my parents who are religious, my grandparents are very religious too. They're kind of the strict one. They told me to have a partner who is a Muslim, but somehow I kept liking guys who have different religion. They warned me that if I ever have a husband who isn't a Muslim, they won't think of me as their family anymore. My mom even said that she can disown me. Dulu saya sering berantem dgn ibu karena tdk shalat. Nah gmn kalau saya omongin pemikiran saya ttg agama ke ortu (atau suatu saat nanti punya partner beda agama)? Takut bgt dgn apa yg bakal terjadi kalau saya sampai ngelakuin itu.
Wanda Lestari | 30 September 2016 | 13:56:38 WIB
Inilah yg selama ini memenuhi pikiran saya. Dulu saya pernah memiliki kekasih yg berbeda keyakinan, dia anak seorang pendeta. Selama hidupnya dia selalu di bawah bayang-bayang & atas dasar paksaan dari orang tua. Hal yg sama terjadi pada kehidupan saya yg seorang Muslim.

Saya membaca sebuah buku berjudul The God Delusion karya Richard Dawkins, namun tak sampai terpengaruh atas pemikirannnya. Satu pemaparan Dawkins dalam buku ini yg saya setujui adalah:

"Seorang anak bukan anak Islam, atau anak Kristen, atau anak Yahudi, melainkan anak dari orangtua yang Islam, Kristen, atau Yahudi.”

Menurut Dawkins, anak-anak tak selayaknya dibebani label agama sampai mereka dapat berpikir dan memilih untuk dirinya sendiri.
Ghassani | 09 February 2017 | 05:30:44 WIB
Hey Laras, I just wanna say thank you so much for this article. What are the odds that this was posted on the morning I needed it the most after having an argument with my mom? Hahah I could relate so well with you in this article it scares me a little bit. I have chosen a different path from my parents though, I was an agnostic for 2 years until I realised I wanted to follow another religion.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that there is not one most righteous religion for everyone. I believe that faith is the most personal thing between us as humans and God. I also agreed with you that I don't want to live a lie, that's why I've opened up the can of worms and right now I'm on the process of containing everything. It's hard (like really hard hahahah), but I'm just doing my best for now. Your article saved me from my negative thoughts this morning, and I just want you to know how thankful I am that someone else has already put it in words so beautifully. Thank you.
Tiara | 10 February 2017 | 16:13:00 WIB
Hai Laras, aku baru baca artikel ini. Merinding. My mom said exactly the same "hidayah" thing. I'm with you :)

Always be brave! And.. be happy too!!!
Han | 11 February 2017 | 17:26:21 WIB
This hits too close to home :') my mom always tell me to wear hijab but tbh I feel like I wasn't ready for this and I feel like I'm opressed :( she used to be that kind of person who says "hubungan vertikal itu urusan masing-masing individu dengan yang di atas" now she starts to change after watching those ceramah youtube :|
RS | 13 February 2017 | 01:56:04 WIB
Dear Laras & all

I've sent you all a warm hug and this gift:

http://www.magdalene.co/news-627-dear-13yearo ld-agnostic-i-was-once-you.html

Bless we all, the sentient being who are able to create concept. Including the concept of god.
RS | 13 February 2017 | 02:00:38 WIB
Hm... Putting link in Magdalene is still tricky.

Here's the correct one: http://bit.ly/2khjgvR
Laras Mukti | 16 February 2017 | 13:13:13 WIB
EVERYONE! MUCH LOVE FROM ME :')

thank you for all the appreciation!

@zee,
I cried when I wrote this too, hingga kini, saya juga belum 'confess' ke orangtua saya terhadap keadaan keyakinan saya sekarang, mungkin terkadang, white lies itu memang harus dilakukan demi kebaikan semuanya.. saya cuma berharap suatu saat nanti saya bisa berhenti berbohong :') cheers for us!

@wanda saya juga pernah memiliki pasangan beda keyakinan :'), dan harus berhenti karena perbedaan tersebut, padahal, kami berdua sama-sama menghormati pilihan masing-masing.

@ghassani glad to know that you enjoyed reading this :') , cheers for us ghassani! we deserve to learn and gain our faith towards something, not given :')

@tiara thank you :))

@han those ceramah youtube! :p starts changing your mom's youtube's preferences! maybe it will work :D cheers for us!

@RS a beautiful piece of work that again moved my heart! thank you very much for all the loves you've given, love and peace conquers all!
Julian Von Usslar | 05 April 2017 | 11:36:49 WIB
this whole article is a big joke smh.
Toruciru | 05 April 2017 | 11:41:22 WIB
you did well. I hope your man find hidayah too.
What's his name again?
Lia nurina | 13 April 2017 | 08:32:02 WIB
This is exactly whats in my mind all the time. I can relate. Although my parents arent the strict one related with religion, but still in my big family i am the rebel one. I wore hijab once, but i didnt feel right about that. So I took it off again. I learned and read some other religions. I hope I can find some enlightments about life. Until I went to Europe, met people from different background, religions, etc. Shared ideas and opinions that broader my own perspective about life .
Now im sure about my decision. I prefer to be spiritual inside than doing such rituals that i dont even believe anymore. Being wiser, love my self and respect other people and living being in this world, thats what i want to do in my late 20.
Im so glad that im not alone in this case :)
Thanks for writting this article Laras :))
Avi | 22 October 2017 | 10:29:46 WIB
Thanks for the article. I feel you Laras
Aussie Tahta Maharani | 26 October 2017 | 22:00:31 WIB
Dear Laras,

Aku baru menemukan artikelmu and i just want to say thank you for writing this. Couldn't agree more with you. Aku merasa ada teman untuk berbagi. Aku dari keluarga Islam yang sebenarnya tidak terlalu strict dan aku berjilbab sejak SMA. Beberapa tahun belakangan ini, aku mulai banyak mempelajari berbagai agama dan aku merasa bahwa bukan Islam yang paling baik, melainkan semua agama juga sama baiknya dengan Islam. Aku sudah sampai tahap bahwa bukan agama atau ritual-ritualnya lagi yang menghubungkan aku dengan Tuhan.

Tapi, aku belum sampai hati untuk bisa menyampaikan ini pada Ibuku. Untuk menyampaikan bahwa aku tidak lagi sependapat dengan beliau. Aku tidak sampai hati melepas jilbab sebagai tanda bahwa aku adalah orang yang bebas, tidak ada identitas agama yang melekat. Aku hanya takut melukai beliau. Beranggapan bahwa beliau gagal dunia akhirat membesarkan aku.

Terima kasih untuk tulisannya, Laras.



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