I woke up to a crowd of kids jumping on my bed and my man in front of his PC, asking for pancakes. It was 8 a.m. on a weekend and my body refused to rise. This is unlike me, because I wake up at 6 during weekends, and even earlier when I join the morning bootcamp.
My son somersaulted next to me, bouncing in a way that cracked my head.
“You went out with the other moms until really, very, very late didn’t you?” he asked, “because you look kind of awful”.
And yes indeed, I did look really, very, very awful. I took a shower before crashing into bed last night, but in the morning, the Stilla matte stains were still stuck on my lips and the hair attached to my eyes looked like clumpy seconds of Syahrini’s lash batch. It reminded me of back in the days, when I stared at a mirror of an unknown bathroom wearing an unfamiliar t-shirt, trying to figure out what happened the night before.
It also reminded me of my super strong 20-year-old self, who could rush off to a waitressing gig after class and hit the club straight after and take on the breakfast shift the very next day. Nowadays I go to clubs at 10PM (the lame hour, because the club is empty and the DJ is on autoplay) and try to hit home at midnight (the club is still empty and DJ is still on autoplay), to spare me from feeling like a train wreck the next day.
Sometimes though, the combination of cocktails, crowd and music is really good, and my inner 20-year-old relives the past in its 40-year-old body. I was in a group of likeminded fellow moms who didn’t have a curfew or alcohol restraints, so I danced like I’m about to embarrass my kids, and hit home after 3AM.
The next 24 hours after crashing into bed, that 3AM felt like a trainwreck in a Michael Bay movie, but here is what I’ve learned that majorly rescued me from further annihilation:
1. Warn the homefront early
Make sure your partner and your kids know at least a week before that you have after-midnight plans and that you don’t intend to lift a finger (or your whole body, for that matter) the day after. This means no bringing kids to playdates or doing groceries. Clear out your schedule and make it a stay-in-bed-and-watch-TV-all-day kind of day.
2. Wear wedges or boots
I know we all want to show off those toned and smoothly sugar waxed legs in killer heels, but I tell you, the heels will be your death. Unless you’re born with stilettos sewn into your feet, forget this unnecessary death and go with wedges or, my favorite, medium heeled boots.
3. Travel light
It’s going to be night, the club is dark, so nobody is going to pay attention to the details of your Himalayan crocodile. Leave the luxury bags at home, and put some cash, a credit card, a phone, mints and lipstick in a lightweight sling bag, or, if you want to be completely hands-free, in your pockets.
4. Go easy on the make up
Of course you want to look the finest because this momma still got juice. But, really, the later into the night it is, the less it matters how sophisticated your contouring layers are. And please make sure you glue those lashes well!
5. Stock on fresh coconuts
Before you leave the house, open up a bunch of those green coconuts and put the water into the fridge. The electrolytes in coconut water will soothe the hangover. And fresh coconut water contains a lot less added sugar than the boxed versions.
6. Don’t go buffet
Decide your drink and stick with it throughout the night. Whether it be G&T or wodka crans or beers, you don’t want to sample the whole lot. I made the mistake of starting off with moscato, followed by vodka orange and later ventured into Maccalan. My 20-year-old self could have handled that, but at 40, this mélange of boozes was lethal to me.
7. Norits are your best friends
These little black pearls are gems for an upset stomach and a liver filled with toxins. Have a couple of these before you go to bed, and the next day around lunchtime. Also, one red Panadol for the pounding headache.
8. Eggs and smoothies over burgers and coffee
My 20-year-old self would have added a large portion of frites and mayonnaise to the burgers for extra bliss, but truthfully, these comfort fats are not working well on old bodies. We need to help our bodies fight the post-party enemies with better ammunition like smoothies (bananas, raw cacaopowder and nutmilks FTW!) and scrambled eggs on toast if you must have something a bit fried.
9. 2 gallons of water and those coconuts
Remember those coconuts you put in the fridge? Instead of coffee, have them as your morning refreshment. It will hike up your energy levels and make the morning a little bit better. Don’t forget to consume large amount of water to help your body flush the bad things out and make the Norit work better.
10. Naps and massages.
It is proven that sleep is our body’s way towards self-healing and the older we get, the more we need it. Do you have a massage therapist who does house visits? Book a delicious 2 hour session in advance and enjoy. It is not scientifically proven that massages are cures for hangover, but to me, massages can heal anything, including the pains caused by Michael Bay’s train wrecks.