She Who Builds: One Woman’s Rebellion Against the Blueprint of Bias
Told she couldn’t make it in engineering, this woman defied expectations and challenges the gender gap in STEM with grit, wit, and purpose.
When I first told my father I wanted to pursue a degree in engineering, his response was less than encouraging: “You can’t do it; it’s too hard for women. You’ll fail.”
For a moment, I actually believed him. But deep down, I knew I was more than capable. I had always been fascinated by how things worked, how bridges stood tall, and how buildings could withstand earthquakes. So why should my gender dictate what I could or couldn’t achieve? If some men crumble at the sniffles, why are women still seen as the weaker sex?
Even today, many women are steered away from certain careers not because of their lack of talent or interest but because of outdated ideas of what women should be doing. Society still clings to the belief that women are fragile, emotionally unstable, or not cut out for pressure. But how does that argument stand when women carry the physical pain of childbirth, breastfeed through sleepless nights, manage households, and still clock in for full-time jobs? Honestly, if men had to give birth even once, I’m convinced the human race would’ve tapped out long ago.
Also read: Normalize Women in STEM to Encourage More to the Field
In 2020, according to Indonesia Business Post, women comprised only 27 percent of Indonesia’s tech workforce. Compare that to the national average of 40 percent female participation across all industries, and you start to see the scale of the problem. It gets worse at the top, with just 12 percent of leadership roles in tech being held by women. And only 32 percent of STEM graduates were women. So yeah, the gender gap is real.
I graduated with a degree in Civil Engineering in 2018. Let me tell you, it wasn’t a walk in the park. Women in engineering often face skepticism about whether we have the “right” skills, especially the technical and spatial ones. And even after we prove ourselves, our voices are frequently ignored or drowned out. Maybe that’s why women remain underrepresented in leadership. Or maybe it’s because we’re too busy multitasking while men are still trying to figure out how to use the rice cooker.
After graduation and years after that, I noticed something disheartening: many of my female peers eventually left the field. Was engineering not for them, or were they nudged out by societal expectations? Some women dream of becoming a “trophy wife”, living a life of luxury. Not me. I want to build things, literally and metaphorically. Besides, sitting around all day sounds great until you realize it comes up with the unspoken rule of looking flawless 24/7 while doing, well, nothing. Hard pass.
Also read: The Big Elephant in STEM: Women Representation and Biased Products
We have the chance to carry on Kartini’s legacy to advocate for women’s rights, access, and dignity in all areas of life. And while I respect that everyone’s path looks different, I’ve come to believe that true empowerment isn’t just about staying in the field, but in continuing in whatever form that takes. Whether it’s building bridges or teaching math to a neighbor’s kid, your contribution matters.
And let’s be real, empowerment doesn’t always mean striding through a construction site in steel-toed boots. It can look like running a home bakery to support your family, or finally saying no to being everyone’s personal assistant. It’s about using our skills, our brain, our heart and our voice.
To me, empowerment means being useful—not just to your family, but to yourself, and ideally, to your community. Every step, no matter how small, pushes the world forward. In my faith, even the smallest good deed counts, and I truly believe every woman holds the power to create meaningful change.
Yet, too many of us still hold back. Some fear they will upset their partners if they shine too brightly. Others believe their religion or culture asks them to fade into the background. But let’s get this straight: no religion forbids women from having a voice, making an impact, or being respected. Empowerment is not about overshadowing men—it’s about uplifting women up to stand beside them with equal footing.
Also read: Female Leaders Share Experience in Advancing Women’s Participation in STEM
We’ve got to stop treating women’s empowerment like it’s a revolutionary idea. It should be the norm. Raise daughters who dream big. Teach boys to respect women as equals. Encourage workplaces to foster true inclusion. Imagine a world where no girl has to second-guess her ambitions because of her gender. That world can exist, but only if we are brave enough to build it.
I refuse to let dusty old beliefs hold me back. I will keep pushing, because women belong in every space, including engineering. My story isn’t just mine. It’s for every girl who has been told she’s not enough. Because we are enough. We always have been.
Sheila Soraya is a mom to a 1.5-year-old son and works at the Ministry of Public Works. When she’s not planning infrastructure, she daydreams about coconut coffee in Vietnam and hunts down a scholarship for further study abroad.
